He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
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Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
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I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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