wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize