I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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