Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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