Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize