It's Friday. Sex?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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