The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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