A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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