thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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