Jerry, you need to find god
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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