It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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