if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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