how can u be prego again
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize