When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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