Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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