There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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