Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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