i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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