You made me cry and you don't even care
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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