went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize