shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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