if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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