dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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