My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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