I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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