We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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