is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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