I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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