So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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