her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
