Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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