Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize