I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im holly from the hills drunk
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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