I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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