I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize