just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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