he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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