i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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