If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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