her vagine was all disorganized.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize