i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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