ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize