Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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