fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize