dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize