she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
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Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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