are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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