I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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