Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize