Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize