Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize